#12

Megadeath.. live, loud, and in person..
#12.. DONE!

The book of love

The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing
But I
I love it when you read to me
And you
You can read me anything
The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
But I
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know
But I
I love it when you give me things
And you
You ought to give me wedding rings

#7

REDLINED!!!! with a little engine tweaking help from a certain friend (God bless his blessed soul..) who chooses to remain anonymus.. revving a wonderous 159 kph on the lil ol speedo (post which I chickened out and slowed down.. she'll do more.. )
On a lovely, overcast september morning.. NH-8.. Number seven.. Check..

Familiar

Courtesy xkcd

#18

No phone numbers.. no last names.. no strings.. number 18.. Check..

Institutionalized..

Sometimes I try to do things but it just doesn't work out the way I want it to, and I get real frustrated and then like I try hard to do it, and I like, take my time but it just doesn't work out the way I want it to. It's like, I concentrate on it real hard, but it just doesn't work out. And everything I do and everything I try, it never turns out. It's like, I need time to figure these things out, but there's always someone there going “hey mike, you know we've been noticing you've been having a lot of problems lately, you know? You need to maybe get away. And like, maybe you should talk about it, you'll feel a lot better.” And I'm all like “oh, nah, it's ok, you know. I'll figure it out. Just leave me alone, I'll figure it out, you know? I'm just working on it by myself.” And they go “well, you know, if you wanna talk about it, I'll be here, you know? And you'll probably feel a lot better if you talk about it. So why don't you talk about it?” I go “no, I don't want to! I'm ok. I'll figure it out myself!” But they just keep bugging me, they just keep bugging me, and it builds up inside.

So you're gonna be institutionalized.
You'll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes.
You won't have anything to say.
They'll brainwash you until you see their way.

I was in my room and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything, but then again I was thinking about nothing. And then my mom came in, and I didn't even know she was there. She called my name and I didn't hear her and then she started screaming “Mike, Mike!” And I go “what? What's the matter?” She goes “what's the matter with you?” I go “there's nothing wrong, mom.” Shes all “don't tell me that! You're on drugs!” I go “no mom, I'm not on drugs. I'm ok, I'm just thinking, you know? Why don't you get me a Pepsi?” She goes “No! You're on drugs!” I go “mom, I'm ok. I'm just thinking.” She goes “No! You're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal people don't be acting that way!” I go “mom, just get me a Pepsi! Please, all I want is a Pepsi!” And she wouldn't give it to me! All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me! Just a Pepsi!

They give you a white shirt with long sleeves!
Tied around your back, you're treated like thieves!
Drug you up because they're lazy!
It's too much work to help a crazy!

I'm sitting in my room, when my mom and my dad came in. they pulled up a chair and they sat down. They go “mike, we need to talk to you.” And I go “ok, what's the matter?” They go “me and your mom, we've noticed that lately you've been having a lot of problems, and you've been going off for no reason, and we're afraid you're going to hurt somebody, and we're afraid you're going to hurt yourself. So we decided that it would be in your best interest if we put you somewhere where you could get the help that you need.” And I go “wait, what are you talking about, WE decided? MY best interests? How do you know what MY best interest is? How can you say what MY best interest is? What are you trying to say? I'M crazy? When I went to YOUR schools, I went to YOUR churches, I went to YOUR institutional learning facilities? So how can you say I'M crazy?”

They say they're gonna fix my brain.
Alleviate my suffering and my pain.
But by the time they fix my head,
Mentally I'll be dead.

They stuck me in an institution,
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help,
to protect me from the enemy, myself.

Doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyways.

#8

I recently made a list of 25 things i want to do before i turned 25.. i can now strike off one of them.. :) 24 more to go.. Here's #8

I know its a moneyplant.. and those are the easiest to grow.. but still damn it!! its the first time i've managed to not kill a plant in the firt 3 weeks..

25 before 25..

I turn 25 in June 2011.. that gives me a little less than 10 months to try and do the things on this list.. being a tad hopeful arent i? Ah well, all one can do is try..

1. Finish my Wodehouse collection.
2. Travel abroad alone.
3. Take a roadtrip with friends.
4. Help a complete stranger in need.
5. Get myself back in good enough shape to run 10 kms. (Not unrealistic.. I can run 5-7 right now..)
6. Get some closure on the several hanging loose threads in my love life.
7. Redline my motorcycle in top gear.
8. Keep a plant alive for more than 3 months.
9. Cook an entire meal from scratch.
10. Learn how to make atleast one mixed drink well.
11. Let my hair grow long enough to put in a ponytail.
12. Watch a band I listen to live.
13. Buy a good camera and actually use it.
14. Finish reading Gone With The Wind.
15. Paint my room.
16. Start reading the newspaper regularly.
17. Go to the movies alone.
18. Live out atleast one of my not-lived-out-yet sexual fantasies.
19. Get another tattoo.
20. Play Mafia again.
21. Get drunk and sing at a karaoke bar.
22. Pick up rock climbing again.
23. Read atleast three new authors.
24. Get my hands on all the Star Wars episodes.
25. Quit my job and finally take that year off.

Dishes..

If you have to dry the dishes
(Such an awful, boring chore)
If you have to dry the dishes
(‘Stead of going to the store)
If you have to dry the dishes
And you drop one on the floor-
Maybe they won’t let you
Dry the dishes anymore.

Strike

Strike! Strike for children's rights!!
For longer weekends and shorter school hours!
Higher allowances, less baths and showers!
No brussel sprouts! More root beer!
SEVENTEEN SUMMER VACATIONS A YEAR!!
If you're ready to strike, please line up here..

Invitation..

If you're a dreamer, come in..
If you're a dreamer, a wisher, a liar..
A hope-er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer..
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire.
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin.
Come in..
Come in..

Dont Ever Show You Care

There is this you know how
if I could go back in time and wipe my life clean
I would
Just so I dont carry any baggage with you

But I am old and worn and sad and lost
the promise of a dream almost fulfilled and lost

If I could round out
the edges that experience has honed
I would
Just so they dont dig into you when you hold me tight

But I have been around the park and on the bend
too many cracks and wounds that cant be mend

If I could look in the mirror
and not see your face
I would
So I would not need to walk with my eyes closed

But I have seen more than I care to know
for i am just too much a reflection of you

If I could erase
that night in the ruin
I would
So I would not want to close in on my reality and go to sleep within

But I have the memory of your touch and smell of the dust
And the smoke from your lips on mine has formed a crust

If it has to be this way dont ask me anymore how I am
My broken thoughts and pathetic rends
Wandering alone in soulless dens
reaching for your hand not finding it there
Running hard, not looking back, staring ruin, burning the brain

Just never ask me anymore how I am

The truth

The last few years have been a continuous cycle of both self destruction, and self discovery for me. I’ve experienced more than I ever thought I could, seen and done things that have defined me. Been loved and hated, by others and myself. Enjoyed great success and trudged through devastating failures. Lost people that meant the world to me, found new friends.. and both lost and found myself somewhere along the way. Aye, there’s the rub, as jolly ol’ Hammy would say, I HAVE found myself. I know that for sure. Don’t get me wrong. I won’t for a second pretend that I have it all figured out, but after years, arguably the first time in my life, my words and actions reflect what I think and how I truly feel. That might not seem much to a stranger, but anyone who’s had to deal with me for an extended period of time would agree that masks and disguises, figuratively speaking, were somewhat of an obsession with me.
I know desire is fluid, and I’ve experienced Out of sight, Out of mind first hand. And most things you though, or hoped, would last forever are temporary.
I know what I want now, in this moment. But I would be an absolute hypocrite if I were to hold a wishy-washy state of mind against somebody.
If I have you, I want all of you, with resolute faith and no room for doubt. I promise the same in return and I’m prepared to wait for it.
If not, then I guess you were right. It lasted as long as it was supposed to.
Either way, halfway there is no longer and option.

And if you said
This life ain't good enough
I would give
My world to lift you up
I could change my life
To better suit your mood
Because your so smooth yeah

And It's just like the ocean Under the moon
Well it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kinda loving that can be so smooth Yeah
Give me your heart
Make it real
Or else forget about it

Tangled up in Blue

Early one mornin’ the sun was shinin’,
I was layin’ in bed
Wond’rin’ if she’d changed at all
If her hair was still red.
Her folks they said our lives together
Sure was gonna be rough
They never did like mama’s homemade dress
Papa’s bankbook wasn’t big enough.
And I was standin’ on the side of the road
Rain fallin’ on my shoes
Heading out for the east coast
Lord knows I’ve paid some dues gettin’ through,
Tangled up in blue.

She was married when we first met
Soon to be divorced
I helped her out of a jam, I guess,
But I used a little too much force.
We drove that car as far as we could
Abandoned it out west
Split up on a dark sad night
Both agreeing it was best.
She turned around to look at me
As I was walkin’ away
I heard her say over my shoulder,
"we’ll meet again someday on the
avenue,"
Tangled up in blue.

I had a job in the great north woods
Working as a cook for a spell
But I never did like it all that much
And one day the ax just fell.
So I drifted down to new orleans
Where I happened to be employed
Workin’ for a while on a fishin’ boat
Right outside of delacroix.
But all the while I was alone
The past was close behind,
I seen a lot of women
But she never escaped my mind, and I just grew
Tangled up in blue.

She was workin’ in a topless place
And I stopped in for a beer,
I just kept lookin’ at the side of her face
In the spotlight so clear.
And later on as the crowd thinned out
I’s just about to do the same,
She was standing there in back of my chair
Said to me, "don’t I know your name? "
I muttered somethin’ underneath my breath,
She studied the lines on my face.
I must admit I felt a little uneasy
When she bent down to tie the laces of my shoe,
Tangled up in blue.

She lit a burner on the stove and offered me a
pipe
"i thought you’d never say hello," she
said
"you look like the silent type."
Then she opened up a book of poems
And handed it to me
Written by an italian poet
From the thirteenth century.
And every one of them words rang true
And glowed like burnin’ coal
Pourin’ off of every page
Like it was written in my soul from me to you,
Tangled up in blue.

I lived with them on montague street
In a basement down the stairs,
There was music in the cafes at night
And revolution in the air.
Then he started into dealing with slaves
And something inside of him died.
She had to sell everything she owned
And froze up inside.
And when finally the bottom fell out
I became withdrawn,
The only thing I knew how to do
Was to keep on keepin’ on like a bird that flew,
Tangled up in blue.

So now I’m goin’ back again,
I got to get to her somehow.
All the people we used to know
They’re an illusion to me now.
Some are mathematicians
Some are carpenter’s wives.
Don’t know how it all got started,
I don’t know what they’re doin’ with their
lives.
But me, I’m still on the road
Headin’ for another joint
We always did feel the same,
We just saw it from a different point of view,
Tangled up in blue.

Smilin' through the Blues..

London Dreams

Ekta : My boss is a hypocritical, racist #$%&..
Me : Umm.. what happened?
Ekta : I caught a common stomach bug going around london and he jibed saying "Oh, so you caught the Delhi belly long distance.." and the bugger's married to an Indian.. arrrgggghhhh!!!
Me : Hmmm.. you have to get back at him .. Poison him.. :)
Ekta : Yeaaaaaahh!!! Death by Curry!!!!

Fight for our right to love..

I received a message on facebook today from someone I didn't recognize.. The message is amusing and just a tad heartbreaking..

hey friend main (my name goes  here) from peetampura ko dhund raha hoon agar aap ho to plz tamanna se shadi mat karo wo meri girlfriend hai plz ....

For my readers unfamiliar with Hindi, its some hapless soul messaging everyone with my name on facebook imploring them not to marry a a certain Tamanna, his girlfriend.. My overactive imagination has already built up a background story ala bollywood.. Ah the trials and tribulations of love..

Boys Dont Cry

I would say I'm sorry

If I thought that it would change your mind

But I know that this time

I've said too much

Been too unkind

I try to laugh about it

Cover it all up with lies

I try and

Laugh about it

Hiding the tears in my eyes

'cause boys don't cry

Boys don't cry

I would break down at your feet

And beg forgiveness

Plead with you

But I know that

It's too late

And now there's nothing I can do

I would tell you

That I loved you

If I thought that you would stay

But I know that it's no use

That you've already

Gone away

Misjudged your limits

Pushed you too far

Took you for granted

I thought that you needed me more

Now I would do most anything

To get you back by my side

But I just

Keep on laughing

Hiding the tears in my eyes

'cause boys don't cry

Boys don't cry

The Christmas from hell..

This is what comes out of having to work Christmas eve..


'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

The box files were stacked by the cartons with care,

In hopes that the client wont find them there;

The errors were nestled all safe out of sight,

While visions of reviews kept me up through the night;

The manager was in a frenzy, the files in my lap,

My eyes they were bloodshot, in need of a nap,

When in the finance bay there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the psychotic CFO, who was drawing near.

With an odd kind of gait, slithery and quick,
I knew in a moment it must that dick.

More rapid than eagles the VP's they came,
And he cussed, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Bakshi! now, Misra! now, Datta and Verma!
Oye, Prakash! Abe, Kumar! Arre, D'souza and Sharma!"

"Hide under your desk! Dive behind the wall!"
From all around me rose such frantic calls.

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So in to the store room the Finance team flew,
With eyes ablaze, the CFO followed too.

And then, quite an uproar, I heard from within
The screaming and pleading and confessing of sins.

As I lowered my head, and was turning around,
Out the store room that blighter came with a bound.

A folder of pink slips he flung on the rack,
And recited the names of the ones getting sacked.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He was fuming and frowning, a right scary sight,
And I shivered when I saw him, overcome by fright;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had plenty to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And fired all the slackers; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his signature aside of the sheet,
And giving a nod, he rose to his feet;

He sprang out the door, his team breathed relief,
And away they all flew some overcome with grief.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he walked out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Wash

Oh please let it rain today.

This city is so filthy, like my mind in ways.

Oh, there was a time, like a clean, new taste...

Smiling eyes before me, inches from my face.

Wash my love.

Sin to sell, buying just a need.

Just who planted all the devils seeds?

And what the truth, the truth that lies at home...

It's on the inside, and I can't get it off.

Wash my love.

What's clean is pure, but hey,

I'm white on the outside, though I stray...

What she don't know today

might kill us both tomorrow.

Bring it back someway.

Back to the clean form,

to the pure form.

Wash my love.

4891

Under the spreading chestnut tree
I sold you and you sold me
There lie they, and here lie we
Under the spreading chestnut tree


"I betrayed you," she said baldly.
"I betrayed you," he said.
She gave him another quick look of dislike.
"Sometimes," she said, "they threaten you with something — something you can't stand up to, can't even think about. And then you say, 'Don't do it to me, do it to somebody else, do it to so-and-so.' And perhaps you might pretend, afterwards, that it was only a trick and that you just said it to make them stop and didn't really mean it. But that isn't true. At the time when it happens you do mean it. You think there's no other way of saving yourself and you're quite ready to save yourself that way. Youwant it to happen to the other person. You don't give a damn what they suffer. All you care about is yourself."
"All you care about is yourself," he echoed.
"And after that, you don't feel the same toward the other person any longer."
"No," he said, "you don't feel the same."

Go figure..

Its uncanny how people evolve into the exact opposites of who they used to be.. Shy, introvert sorta people turn into regular social butterflies.. commitment freaks turn into advocates of casual flings.. and people you had pegged as selfish buggers turn around and surprise you with truly selfless acts..
Im not saying I havent done it myself.. It just startles you sometimes.. especially if you're in a position to draw a before and after kindova picture..
A certain somebody I've known for a while now couldnt stand cigarette smoke.. Mind you, it wasnt just some passing displeasure.. This person had a full blown attack around cigi smoke.. coughing.. inability to breathe.. the works.. matter of fact, an acute desire to be around this person is the primary reason I quit smoking..
But mark the sequel.. just a few years down the line, my reason to quit has now turned occasional smoker! astounds me to no end it does..
Such are the curveballs that life throws at you..
P.S. on the flipside, I cant stand cigarette smoke anymore.. :)
Ah well..

#58

Oh my dear, 
When I was dreaming, 
I wish you would take your lies elsewhere 
Don't give them to me. 

Oh my friend, 
Old as you are, 
How could I trust you as far 
As I could throw you, brother? 

As to you my love, 
My precious baby, 
If I die be sure to eat me up 
Where I can stay with you. 

Take my flesh, 
And eat it down 
Drink my blood for every pound you can brother. 

We reconcile, our differences, 
When I saw God and the devil walking on and on. 
We reconcile, our different tastes, 
When I saw the devil swimming in the Lord's swimming pool. 

To drink his wine, 
God forgive him, 
Your falling angels doing fine 
He's got you under boards. 

Oh then God, 
This dream may be done, 
How he had given rise to him what would we care. 

If there were no Judas, 
Or there were no devil, 
Where would God and this little boy be now? 
No where I swear. 

Oh it's said, 
When it seems extreme, 
When all we do is reconcile our differences here.

Back in Black..

They said it was just a phase.. They said I'll grow out of it..
I reply with a revving engine and some burning rubber..
I've been too long, I'm glad to be back ..


Here's to following your dreams..

(Untitled)

I’ll write us a happy ending

Because it was meant to be that way.

Because great love is always enough

And parting is only the beginning of a new chapter.

I’ll write us a happy ending

Because they deserve it.

That confused green eyed girl

And scared

Floppy haired

Little boy.

I’ll write us a happy ending

With no room for fear

And no need for lies.

With madness and melody

And motorcycle rides.

I’ll write us a happy ending

Alone as I am

and shall be

You showed me a world

of fairies and goblins

And stories that needn’t come true

For one to believe.

I’ll write us a happy ending

An ever after

If only on paper and in my head

Because we deserve it.

That confused green eyed girl

And scared

Floppy haired

Little boy.

State of mind..

The key to forgetting,
Someone said,
Was to start small
Like your keys, your library books

To stop making associations
Like the way you smell
That song you loved
Your favorite term of endearment

Lie (to myself)
I will see you again, Its not really over
We would have been great together
(And to you) I hate you

Throw away the random things
That we made together
That business card, the red dragon tissues
The newspaper we read on Sunday

Then to get to the point of forgetting
To stop seeing you everywhere
To spend a few idle moments, 
Without caressing you with my thoughts

My cardboard boxes are packed
I await the empty space
That comes with forgetting
The way you loved me


For the original and more please visit : http://thedragonreborn.blogspot.com

American History X

So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned - my conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. Derek says it's always good to end a paper with a quote. He says someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like. 'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.'


Just got done watching American History X.. Edward Norton's quickly becoming one of my favorite actors.

The end of nights we tried to die..

What shall we use to fill the empty spaces where we used to talk?
It'll be a while i suppose. On the plus side I got a friend back.

I gave her my heart, but she wanted my soul. Don't think twice, Its alright.
Im sorry, I couldn't deal with it anymore.

It hurts to set you free but you'll never follow me.
The end of laughter and soft lies.
The end of nights we tried to die.
And I can breathe again. :)

Pigs on the wing - Part One and Two

If you didn't care what happens to me,
and I didn't care for you,
we would zig-zag our way through the boredom and pain.
Occasionally glancing up through the rain.
Wondering which of the buggers to blame
and watching,
The Pigs on the wing.

You know that I care what happens to you,
and I know that you care for me too.
So I don't feel alone or the weight of the stone
now that I've found somewhere safe to bury my bone.
Any fool knows, a dog needs a home.
A shelter,
from Pigs on the wing.

A picture's worth a thousand words?

The following have been taken during myriad ramblings over four countries.. enjoy..

Delayed Exposure - 101

Incidence

Who looks straight through but cannot see,
Who looks at me and looks like me.
Who never blinks till I permit,
Who does exist but can never be.

written in one of my more existential moments right after a hot shower that fogged up the mirror.. 

Moon river and me..

Watched Breakfast at Tiffany's for about the millionth time today.. Its still brilliant.. and the following still remains my favorite bit.. and for any unfortunate slobs who haven't seen the movie, you're really missing something.. Audrey Hepburn is nothing short of a vision.. 

Holly, I'm in love with you.

So what?

So what? So plenty! I love you. You belong to me.

No. People don’t belong to people.

Of course they do.

I'll never let anyone put me in a cage!

I don't want to put you in a cage, I wanna love you.

Same thing!

No it's not, Holly--

I'm not Holly! I'm not Lulu Mae either. I don't know who I am. I'm like Cat here. We're a couple of no-name slobs. We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us. We don't even belong to each other.

You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.

The Infantryman

In memory of the man who personified grit. Here's to the eternal soldier.
When it was victory, 
the cavalier claimed it outright, 
the gunner boasted of his calibre, 
the engineer and signalman publicised their worth, 
but the infantryman stood silent with victory at his feet.

Dreams (courtesy xkcd)

Insomnia..

I dreamed of you last night.
of a lingering, hopeless wait.
with hours spinning across the clockface
and pages peeling off my calender

I dreamed of you last night
of all the things you are,
of everything that brings you closer,
everyday, and makes me smile.
Though not without that twinge.
Of newsprint and night,
and musical abandon.

I dreamed of you last night.

of a lingering, hopeless wait.

that is now a part of me.

He either fears his fate too much, 
Or his deserts are small, 

That puts it not unto the touch. 

To win or lose it all.
Days until redemption - 73.

O Happy Dagger..

Two very diverse and frankly conflicting influences led to his particular train of though.. which led to this post.. Its also led me to seriously question something i very firmly believe in.. the concept of a "Happily ever after"..
The first is an observation that I made during a conversation about the afore mentioned concept with a certain fellow victim of the down-on-your-luck-in-love syndrome.. every single story of great love from literature that i've ever enjoyed, never runs its course.. its always a wild and passionate love that survives despite the lovers not ending up together for one reason or another.. one of the following always happens..

- One of them is killed by an accident/terminal illness, while the other holds their hand in the final moment in the hospital.

- They realise that they cannot be together in life so kill themselves so they can be together in death.

- Or (and this one's my favorite) the great sacrifice.. when one of them pushes the other out of the way of a stray bullet/speeding automobile, and dies in the other's arms with a final "I love you".

The other point, ruminating on the first one while we discuss this ofcourse, comes from a certain high-grossing-giant-special-effects-hollywood-extravaganza kinda film that i rather enjoyed. The hero.. no villain.. no hero.. well its unclear what he really is, makes a statement towards the end of the movie.. "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain"..

while this is not a direct reference to the theme brought up by Point One, one can draw a parallel.. which brings me to the conclusion that planted the seed of doubt in my firm fairytale fancies.. What if all great love is doomed to an extremely short shelf life? What if the only kind of love that really survives in the long run is the average, mediocre kind? but most importantly.. what do you do when the great, all consuming love just doesn't seem enough?

O true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick.
Thus with a kiss I die.

Romeo had it easy..

The Bradley Cooper Project : v 2.1

Courtesy The Wanderer
First week of gym over.. typing with very stiff arms.. has been a week of self discovery :

- Can still run 5 kms.. not jog.. run.. :)
- Pushups.. 3 sets of 15.. way harder than it sounds..
- my instructor is a year younger than me.. taller by a few inches and looks like a fucking Adonis.. and looks incredulous everytime i stuggle with the weight.. I am going to kill him..
- ideal time for workout.. early morning.. its when the office crowd works out, so people around are in worse shape than you.. helps your ego when you cant finish the 5th pull up to watch somebody struggling on the treadmill after half a km..

More later.. must fall down and die for a bit..

Acquiesce

I don't know what it is
That makes me feel alive
I don't know how to wake
The things that sleep inside
I only wanna see the light
That shines behind your eyes

I hope that I can say
The things I wish I'd said
To sing my soul to sleep
And take me back to bed
You want to be alone
When we could be alive instead

Because we need each other
We believe in one another
And I know we're going to uncover
What's sleepin' in our soul

TAG

A
- Available: Nein
- Age: 23
- Annoyance: Never ending exams
- Animal: Cat

B
- Beer: Homer no function beer well without.
- Birthday/Birthplace: June 26/New Delhi
- Body Part on opposite sex: Lower Back.
- Best feeling in the world: Motorcycle.. Delhi winter.. speed limit??
- Blind or Deaf: Blind.
- Best weather: Foggy.
- Been in Love: Yes.
- Been on stage?: Yes, not as often as I'd like though.
- Believe in yourself?: Yes, resolutely
- Believe in life on other planets: Yes.
- Believe in miracles: Hoping for a few..
- Believe in Magic: Not really..
- Believe in God: Selfishly.

C
- Car/Bike : Refer Best feeling in the world
- Candy: Orange rock candy..
- Color: Blue, White and red
- Cried in school: Yup..
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate.
- Country to visit: New Zealand, Thailand, USA

D
- Day or Night: Night.
- Danced: Yes.. and will continue to DAMN IT!!
- Dance in the rain?: Yes.
- Do the splits?: Not since I was very VERY young..

E
- Eggs: Cant boil them to save my life.
- Eyes: Cat.
- Everyone has: ???

F
- First crush: 7th Grade.
- First thoughts waking up: Somebody kill the Laughter Club..
- Food: Drool..

G
- Greatest Fear: Mediocrity
- Giver or taker: About down the middle..
- Goals: Clear exams.. Oh god please clear exams..
- Get along with your parents?: Always, they are my best friends.

H
- Hair Colour: Black
- Height: 6'0"
- Happy: Mostly..
- How do you want to die: Refer Best feeling in the world.. Remove Helmet..
- Health freak?: Kinda..
- Hate: Strong but short lived..

I
- Ice Cream: Mint Chocolate Chip..
- Instrument: violin..

J
- Jewelry: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo..
- Job: Meh..

K
- Kids: Yes.. Someday..
- Kickboxing or karate: Kickboxing..
- Keep a journal?: You're reading it..

L
- Love: Always..
- Laughed so hard you cried: Yes. Not for a while though..
- Love at first sight: Happens..

M
- Mooned anyone?: Nope..
- Marriage: Indifferent..
- Motion sickness?: For a while.. as a kid.. got over it though..

N
- Number of Siblings: one.. ah to be an only child..
- Number of Piercings: None.. Tattoo though.. :)

O
- One wish: World peace.. :P

P
- Place you'd like to live: London.
- Perfect Pizza: Cheese.. lots of it..
- Pepsi/Coke: Coke..

Q
- Questionaires: Random..

R
- Reason to cry: Stagnation..
- Reality T.V.: Fascinating in a Ewww what is that? kinda way..
- Roll your tongue in a circle: Fold it into an origami duck..

S
- Song: Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen
- Shoe size: 11
- Slept outside: Yup..
- Seen a dead body? Yes.
- Smoked?: Yes.
- Skinny dipped?: Yes.
- Shower daily?: Ummmm do weekends bumming around at home count?
- Sing well?: Occasionally, much to my listner's surprise..
- In the shower?: Always..
- Swear?: #$@%$**^%$$
- Stuffed Animals?: Bleh..
- Single/Group dates: Both.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries.
- Scientists need to invent: A selective memory obliviator.. ala Eternal sunshine..

T
- Time for bed: Varies..
- Thunderstorms: Likes.. Lots of lightening
- TV: Rarely..
- Touch your tongue to your nose: 'ow 'wath?

U
- Unpredictable: Mood..

V
- Vegetable you hate: All the Lauki-Tinda family type. And the Karela.
- Vegetable you love: Potato.. :)
- Vacation spot: Nice.. sighhh

W
- Weakness: Engines.
- When you grow up: Never!
- Worst feeling: Waking up next to somebody you feel nothing for.
- Wanted to be a model?: Nope.. Im a realist..
- Where do we go when we die: On a boat, across the great sea.
- Worst weather: Hot and sticky.

X
-X-Rays: whaaaa?

Y
- Year it is now: 2010
- Yellow: who you callin' yeller?

Z
- Zoo animal: I'm bored of this..
- Zodiac sign: Cancer..

Dont think twice, Its alright..

It ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If’in you don’t know by now
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It’ll never do some how.
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right

It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
but I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
So don't think twice, it's all right

It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like you never done before
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you any more
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin' walkin’ down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right

So long, Honey Babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But Goodbye's too good a word, babe
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right

How to save a life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

A pocket full of rye..

His vitals are weak.. But he's holding on..
Classic OD case.. Any idea what's in his system?
Seems like a pretty potent cocktail.. Its like he was trying to get this way..
He pretty far gone..
Im surprised he's still breathing after that hit..
Whats in him anyway?
Couple of shots of Twilight, a John Denver, an Erich Segal or two.. not to mention an LR shot, a Phil Collins and a bloody icecream stick windchime..
You're kidding me..
Hell no.. and to top it all this God damned Madame Zeeba monstrosity..
Fuck.. quite an appetite for punishment..
Tell me about it..
Think he'll be immune after this?
Cant say.. then again cant get any worse than this can it?
suppose not..
I guess we'll just have to wait and see..

Disclaimer..

Some readers (god bless their souls) have recently expressed concern over the nature and tone of my blog posts.. im touched.. but i believe i may have alarmed them without cause.. so, to relieve their apprehensions, i feel compelled to issue the following notice..

All material on this blog, poetry or prose; original, inspired or otherwise; is in entirety a work of fiction and a direct result of my overactive imagination and/or momentary mood swings. Any association with any person, place or event is purely coincidental; unless ofcourse i happen to mention otherwise.

i think that should suffice.. :) cheerio..

Bob Dylan Blues..

What comes close, really?
Nothing bothers me now.
It seems now, your eyes have left me here,
Like life leaves a dying man.

You're everything I had.
You're everything I lost.

I remember that fateful night,
It was raining outside.
My heart, wet and cold, craved comfort.
Shelter was what I sought,
Shelter, what I found in you.
Your eyes gave me reason to live.

You're everything I lost.

But the cue card says "Ramble On"
One cant just sit and muse.

You're everything I had.
You're everything I lost.

But then again, like the man said.
"when you ain't got nothing,
you got nothing to lose"

Achy Breaky Heart Lyrics

You can tell the world you never was my girl
You can burn my clothes when I'm gone
Or you can tell your friends just what a fool I've been
And laugh and joke about me on the phone

You can tell my arms to go back onto the phone
You can tell my feet to hit the floor
Or you can tell my lilps to tell my fingertips
They won't be reaching out for you no more

But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don't think it'd understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man

You can tell your ma I moved to Arkansas
Or you can tell your dog to bite my leg
Or tell your brother Cliff who's fist can tell my lips
He never really liked me anyway

Oh tell your Aunt Louise, tell anything you please
Myself already knows that I'm okay
Oh you can tell my eyes to watch out for my mind
It might be walking out on me today

But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don't think it'd understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man