Thursday, September 25, 2014

Positively 4th Street

You got a lotta nerve to say you are my friend
When I was down, you just stood there grinning
You got a lotta nerve to say you gotta helping hand to lend
You just want to be on the side that's winning

You say I let you down, you know it's not like that
If you're so hurt why then don't you show it?
You say you lost your faith, but that's not where it's at
You have no faith to lose and you know it

I know the reason that you talk behind my back
I used to be among the crowd you're in with
Do you take me for such a fool to think I'd make contact
With the one who tries to hide what he don't know to begin with?

You see me on the street, you always act surprised
You say, "How are you? Good luck," but you don't mean it
When you know as well as me you'd rather see me paralyzed
Why don't you just come out once and scream it?

No, I do not feel that good when I see the heartbreaks you embrace
If I was a master thief perhaps I'd rob them
And now I know you're dissatisfied with your position and your place
Don't you understand, it's not my problem

I wish that for just one time you could stand inside my shoes
And just for that one moment, I could be you
Yes, I wish that for just one time, you could stand inside my shoes
You'd know what a drag it is to see you

Monday, September 1, 2014


You asked me how depression felt,
and this is all I could come up with.

It feels like
I'm walking upstream
through a current strong enough
to pull me under four times over.

There are others with me
but they are walking along the banks
telling me to "just get out of the water."
But instead of extending a hand in help,
they just move on and leave me behind.

Every once in a while I find a rock
that is strong enough for me to lean on,
And I can rest for a bit.

But the rocks always get tired of holding me up,
and when they let go, I'm left drowning,
thrown 50 feet back again.

And nothing is harder
then standing up in that current
when everything in you
is telling you how much easier things would be
if you just let yourself get dragged under.

Source - The internet

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

In the midst of darkness, light persists...

I've been tardy with writing lately. I blame it on the fact that I'm almost perfectly happy. Anger, resentment, sorrow, heartbreak inspires me to write. It's cathartic.
But this time around something so wonderfully beautiful presented itself that I was moved to write (and very nearly to tears).
We live in an India, nay a world, that is fraught with sexism and subjugation and abuse. It's enough for me to feel the need to carry around a placard apologising on behalf of my sex. But every now and then a glimmer of absolute joy shines through from the most unexpected of places and is brighter still, because of the pitch black that surrounds it.
There's a young man who works in our office doing odd jobs, cleaning, making tea, gopher duties etc. He's educated to a degree, probably somewhere around middle school. He's smart and kind, and generally loved around the office. He is arguably my favorite person in my small startup of a company and we spend some time everyday just talking and shooting the breeze.
Born and raised in a village in Bihar he's had a very conservative upbringing his family still operates on an extremely patriarchal system.
This morning he came up to me and wanted help to look for recent school teacher opening's that the Department of Education has announced on their website.
I asked him about who the candidate was and he told me it was his wife. She has an MA and a two year diploma in education. She'd only finished high school when they got married. Her parents weren't too sold on the idea of educating girls beyond high school. But she wanted to study so he's spent the last 6 years borrowing money from the office using up his savings to help her though a BA, and MA and the diploma course in education. And to top it all he has regrets that he didn't have enough money to help her get a Bachelors degree in education so she had to settle for the diploma course instead. He also told me on the sly that he had to hide it from his family who live in the village as well and they think he makes a lot less money than he actually does because a considerable chunk goes into his wife's education.
He works from 9-6 goes home and helps with the kid and the cooking and cleaning so his wife would have time to study.
My friend, you're a better man than most men out there. I hereby dub thee The Knight. You have more than earned it.