Sunday, September 13, 2009

Dead man..

Sailing on my every step
Inching off of the earth..
It’s magnified
by the things I've done
The thing that I've become

Every lift of my hand,
Coffee cup up and back,
Is magnified
by the things I've done
The things I've seen, the things I've caused,
I'm a dead man walking.

The hammer that I once brought down
now hovers over me.
Casts a shadow, across onto me.

The hallways are all mocking me.
What I've become
they're all mocking me.

I'm a dead man walking.
A dead man walking.

Monday, September 7, 2009

All in all..

Now she's gone, she left me standing with a broken heart and baggage at my feet.. Sleep deprivation and alcohol adding to the nausea I've gotten to know so well now. Im dimly aware of all these wonderful people, my well wishers, all around. Offerring me a place to rest, offerring to lighten the load. Offerring me time, the wisdom of ages and the eternal grace of God, all in exchange for a few strips of paper I have in my back pocket. Offerring me a good time, if I was looking for it.
I reach out for her, though i cant see her. I try to follow but the weight of worldly possessions slows me down. So I drop them, one by one, as I start to run. Eyes blurred and knees weak.
I get shoved around the middle, hard, and i fall skidding across the asphalt. The sound of the fabric ripping is drowned by the screech of rubber. The nausea that had been building up overcomes me and vomit mixes with blood and tears.
I feel at peace there, lying on the hot road. Knees, elbows, palms burning. Breathing in the exhaust, looking up at the circle of those same beautiful people gathering around, my well wishers, closing in tighter. Building my wall again.
I missed you, shouldnt have torn you down in the first place. Felt naked without you. Im so glad you're back. I can finally sleep.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The anthem..

This goes out to all the poor souls (including me) who've had to suffer at the hands of the vicious and sadistic pit of hell that is the ICAI.. I pray for salvation, this time around..

Fight Fight,
Never surrender..
After May,
There comes November..

Where there's a will,
There's always a way..
After November,
There's always May..