Angela McCluskey - My Funny Valentine

Damn near broke my heart. Beautiful.

The truth

The last few years have been a continuous cycle of both self destruction, and self discovery for me. I’ve experienced more than I ever thought I could, seen and done things that have defined me. Been loved and hated, by others and myself. Enjoyed great success and trudged through devastating failures. Lost people that meant the world to me, found new friends.. and both lost and found myself somewhere along the way. Aye, there’s the rub, as jolly ol’ Hammy would say, I HAVE found myself. I know that for sure. Don’t get me wrong. I won’t for a second pretend that I have it all figured out, but after years, arguably the first time in my life, my words and actions reflect what I think and how I truly feel. That might not seem much to a stranger, but anyone who’s had to deal with me for an extended period of time would agree that masks and disguises, figuratively speaking, were somewhat of an obsession with me.
I know desire is fluid, and I’ve experienced Out of sight, Out of mind first hand. And most things you though, or hoped, would last forever are temporary.
I know what I want now, in this moment. But I would be an absolute hypocrite if I were to hold a wishy-washy state of mind against somebody.
If I have you, I want all of you, with resolute faith and no room for doubt. I promise the same in return and I’m prepared to wait for it.
If not, then I guess you were right. It lasted as long as it was supposed to.
Either way, halfway there is no longer and option.

And if you said
This life ain't good enough
I would give
My world to lift you up
I could change my life
To better suit your mood
Because your so smooth yeah

And It's just like the ocean Under the moon
Well it's the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kinda loving that can be so smooth Yeah
Give me your heart
Make it real
Or else forget about it

Tangled up in Blue

Early one mornin’ the sun was shinin’,
I was layin’ in bed
Wond’rin’ if she’d changed at all
If her hair was still red.
Her folks they said our lives together
Sure was gonna be rough
They never did like mama’s homemade dress
Papa’s bankbook wasn’t big enough.
And I was standin’ on the side of the road
Rain fallin’ on my shoes
Heading out for the east coast
Lord knows I’ve paid some dues gettin’ through,
Tangled up in blue.

She was married when we first met
Soon to be divorced
I helped her out of a jam, I guess,
But I used a little too much force.
We drove that car as far as we could
Abandoned it out west
Split up on a dark sad night
Both agreeing it was best.
She turned around to look at me
As I was walkin’ away
I heard her say over my shoulder,
"we’ll meet again someday on the
avenue,"
Tangled up in blue.

I had a job in the great north woods
Working as a cook for a spell
But I never did like it all that much
And one day the ax just fell.
So I drifted down to new orleans
Where I happened to be employed
Workin’ for a while on a fishin’ boat
Right outside of delacroix.
But all the while I was alone
The past was close behind,
I seen a lot of women
But she never escaped my mind, and I just grew
Tangled up in blue.

She was workin’ in a topless place
And I stopped in for a beer,
I just kept lookin’ at the side of her face
In the spotlight so clear.
And later on as the crowd thinned out
I’s just about to do the same,
She was standing there in back of my chair
Said to me, "don’t I know your name? "
I muttered somethin’ underneath my breath,
She studied the lines on my face.
I must admit I felt a little uneasy
When she bent down to tie the laces of my shoe,
Tangled up in blue.

She lit a burner on the stove and offered me a
pipe
"i thought you’d never say hello," she
said
"you look like the silent type."
Then she opened up a book of poems
And handed it to me
Written by an italian poet
From the thirteenth century.
And every one of them words rang true
And glowed like burnin’ coal
Pourin’ off of every page
Like it was written in my soul from me to you,
Tangled up in blue.

I lived with them on montague street
In a basement down the stairs,
There was music in the cafes at night
And revolution in the air.
Then he started into dealing with slaves
And something inside of him died.
She had to sell everything she owned
And froze up inside.
And when finally the bottom fell out
I became withdrawn,
The only thing I knew how to do
Was to keep on keepin’ on like a bird that flew,
Tangled up in blue.

So now I’m goin’ back again,
I got to get to her somehow.
All the people we used to know
They’re an illusion to me now.
Some are mathematicians
Some are carpenter’s wives.
Don’t know how it all got started,
I don’t know what they’re doin’ with their
lives.
But me, I’m still on the road
Headin’ for another joint
We always did feel the same,
We just saw it from a different point of view,
Tangled up in blue.

Smilin' through the Blues..

Boys Dont Cry

I would say I'm sorry

If I thought that it would change your mind

But I know that this time

I've said too much

Been too unkind

I try to laugh about it

Cover it all up with lies

I try and

Laugh about it

Hiding the tears in my eyes

'cause boys don't cry

Boys don't cry

I would break down at your feet

And beg forgiveness

Plead with you

But I know that

It's too late

And now there's nothing I can do

I would tell you

That I loved you

If I thought that you would stay

But I know that it's no use

That you've already

Gone away

Misjudged your limits

Pushed you too far

Took you for granted

I thought that you needed me more

Now I would do most anything

To get you back by my side

But I just

Keep on laughing

Hiding the tears in my eyes

'cause boys don't cry

Boys don't cry

Wash

Oh please let it rain today.

This city is so filthy, like my mind in ways.

Oh, there was a time, like a clean, new taste...

Smiling eyes before me, inches from my face.

Wash my love.

Sin to sell, buying just a need.

Just who planted all the devils seeds?

And what the truth, the truth that lies at home...

It's on the inside, and I can't get it off.

Wash my love.

What's clean is pure, but hey,

I'm white on the outside, though I stray...

What she don't know today

might kill us both tomorrow.

Bring it back someway.

Back to the clean form,

to the pure form.

Wash my love.

#58

Oh my dear, 
When I was dreaming, 
I wish you would take your lies elsewhere 
Don't give them to me. 

Oh my friend, 
Old as you are, 
How could I trust you as far 
As I could throw you, brother? 

As to you my love, 
My precious baby, 
If I die be sure to eat me up 
Where I can stay with you. 

Take my flesh, 
And eat it down 
Drink my blood for every pound you can brother. 

We reconcile, our differences, 
When I saw God and the devil walking on and on. 
We reconcile, our different tastes, 
When I saw the devil swimming in the Lord's swimming pool. 

To drink his wine, 
God forgive him, 
Your falling angels doing fine 
He's got you under boards. 

Oh then God, 
This dream may be done, 
How he had given rise to him what would we care. 

If there were no Judas, 
Or there were no devil, 
Where would God and this little boy be now? 
No where I swear. 

Oh it's said, 
When it seems extreme, 
When all we do is reconcile our differences here.

The end of nights we tried to die..

What shall we use to fill the empty spaces where we used to talk?
It'll be a while i suppose. On the plus side I got a friend back.

I gave her my heart, but she wanted my soul. Don't think twice, Its alright.
Im sorry, I couldn't deal with it anymore.

It hurts to set you free but you'll never follow me.
The end of laughter and soft lies.
The end of nights we tried to die.
And I can breathe again. :)

Pigs on the wing - Part One and Two

If you didn't care what happens to me,
and I didn't care for you,
we would zig-zag our way through the boredom and pain.
Occasionally glancing up through the rain.
Wondering which of the buggers to blame
and watching,
The Pigs on the wing.

You know that I care what happens to you,
and I know that you care for me too.
So I don't feel alone or the weight of the stone
now that I've found somewhere safe to bury my bone.
Any fool knows, a dog needs a home.
A shelter,
from Pigs on the wing.

Acquiesce

I don't know what it is
That makes me feel alive
I don't know how to wake
The things that sleep inside
I only wanna see the light
That shines behind your eyes

I hope that I can say
The things I wish I'd said
To sing my soul to sleep
And take me back to bed
You want to be alone
When we could be alive instead

Because we need each other
We believe in one another
And I know we're going to uncover
What's sleepin' in our soul

Dont think twice, Its alright..

It ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
If’in you don’t know by now
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It’ll never do some how.
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right

It ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
but I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
So don't think twice, it's all right

It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like you never done before
It ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you any more
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin' walkin’ down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right

So long, Honey Babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But Goodbye's too good a word, babe
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right

How to save a life

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Achy Breaky Heart Lyrics

You can tell the world you never was my girl
You can burn my clothes when I'm gone
Or you can tell your friends just what a fool I've been
And laugh and joke about me on the phone

You can tell my arms to go back onto the phone
You can tell my feet to hit the floor
Or you can tell my lilps to tell my fingertips
They won't be reaching out for you no more

But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don't think it'd understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man

You can tell your ma I moved to Arkansas
Or you can tell your dog to bite my leg
Or tell your brother Cliff who's fist can tell my lips
He never really liked me anyway

Oh tell your Aunt Louise, tell anything you please
Myself already knows that I'm okay
Oh you can tell my eyes to watch out for my mind
It might be walking out on me today

But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don't think it'd understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man

Diseased Ramblings..

Dont say its the end of the road.
remember the flowers I sent..
i need you.. babe..
to put through the shredder in front of my friends

Dont leave me now..
How could you go?
when you know how i need you..
to beat to a pulp on a saturday night.

Rewind

Asking you to stay
the words are finally here
let's rewind, and rewind

you see, you're the only star
in the film i never made
would you rewind it all the time
rewind it all the time

in the driveway
see you pull in
then my heart stops
when you're stalling
as if the phone rang
and he's calling
now you're backing up

it's a long way out
i'm asking you to stay
the words are finally here
let's rewind

would you rewind it all the time

see, you're the only star
in the film i never made
would you rewind it all the time
rewind it all the time

do we make it to the sequel
second chance for our survival
oh we all need a hallmark ending
and a change of heart

but it's a long way back, back to what you said

swayin' on my mind

it's swayin' on my mind
it's swayin' on my mind
would you rewind it all the time
rewind it all the time

i'm asking you to stay
the words are finally here
so let's rewind
would you rewind it all the time
oh you're the only star
in the film i never made
would you rewind
would you rewind it all the time

would you rewind it all the time
rewind it all the time

would you rewind it all the time
rewind it all the time

First or Second?

Just A Perfect Day,
Drink Sangria In The Park,
And Then Later, When It Gets Dark,
We Go Home.
Just A Perfect Day,
Feed Animals In The Zoo
Then Later, A Movie, Too,
And Then Home.

Oh It's Such A Perfect Day,
I'm Glad I Spent It With You.
Oh Such A Perfect Day,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On.

Just A Perfect Day,
Problems All Left Alone,
Weekenders On Our Own.
It's Such Fun.
Just A Perfect Day,
You Made Me Forget Myself.
I Thought I Was Someone Else,
Someone Good.

Oh It's Such A Perfect Day,
I'm Glad I Spent It With You.
Oh Such A Perfect Day,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On,
You Just Keep Me Hanging On.

Sunday Mornin' Coming Down

Well, I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt.
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad,
So I had one more for dessert.
Then I fumbled in my closet through my clothes
And found my cleanest dirty shirt.
Then I washed my face and combed my hair
And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day.

I'd smoked my mind the night before
With cigarettes and songs I'd been picking.
But I lit my first and watched a small kid
Playing with a can that he was kicking.
Then I walked across the street
And caught the Sunday smell of someone frying chicken.
And Lord, it took me back to something that I'd lost
Somewhere, somehow along the way.

On a Sunday morning sidewalk,
I'm wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cause there's something in a Sunday
That makes a body feel alone.
And there's nothing short a' dying
That's half as lonesome as the sound
Of the sleeping city sidewalk
And Sunday morning coming down.

In the park I saw a daddy
With a laughing little girl that he was swinging.
And I stopped beside a Sunday school
And listened to the songs they were singing.
Then I headed down the street,
And somewhere far away a lonely bell was ringing,
And it echoed through the canyon
Like the disappearing dreams of yesterday.

On a Sunday morning sidewalk,
I'm wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.
'Cause there's something in a Sunday
That makes a body feel alone.
And there's nothing short a' dying
That's half as lonesome as the sound
Of the sleeping city sidewalk
And Sunday morning coming down.

It had to be you

I've been listening to a lot of old favorites lately.. The Beatles, Elvis, Sinatra.. This is one of those feel good songs thats become very relevant all of a sudden.. Now now.. dont ask me why..

Why do I do, just as you say
Why must I just, give you your way
Why do I sigh, why dont I try - to forget

It must have been, that something lovers call fate
Kept me saying: I have to wait
I saw them all, just couldnt fall - till we met

It had to be you, it had to be you
I wandered around, and finally found - the somebody who
Could make me be true, and could make me be blue
And even be glad, just to be sad - thinking of you

Some others Ive seen, might never be mean
Might never be cross, or try to be boss
But they wouldnt do
For nobody else, gave me a thrill - with all your faults, I love you still
It had to be you, wonderful you
It had to be you

Venus in furs..

This particular song by Velvet Underground remains one of my favorites.. Not just for its obviously erotic theme, but also for the matter of fact way that the theme has been presented
Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather
Whiplash girlchild in the dark
Clubs and bells, your servant, dont forsake him
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart

Downy sins of streetlight fancies
Chase the costumes she shall wear
Ermine furs adorn the imperious
Severin, severin awaits you there

I am tired, I am weary
I could sleep for a thousand years
A thousand dreams that would awake me
Different colors made of tears

Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather
Shiny leather in the dark
Tongue of thongs, the belt that does await you
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart

Severin, severin, speak so slightly
Severin, down on your bended knee
Taste the whip, in love not given lightly
Taste the whip, now plead for me

I am tired, I am weary
I could sleep for a thousand years
A thousand dreams that would awake me
Different colors made of tears

Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather
Whiplash girlchild in the dark
Severin, your servant comes in bells, please dont forsake him
Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart

Dead man..

Sailing on my every step
Inching off of the earth..
It’s magnified
by the things I've done
The thing that I've become

Every lift of my hand,
Coffee cup up and back,
Is magnified
by the things I've done
The things I've seen, the things I've caused,
I'm a dead man walking.

The hammer that I once brought down
now hovers over me.
Casts a shadow, across onto me.

The hallways are all mocking me.
What I've become
they're all mocking me.

I'm a dead man walking.
A dead man walking.