We're Busy Itseems...

This thing started as a bored email to a friend. With a few modifications, its the perfect account of a hapless north Indian stuck in the south... or so itseems...

im jobless so i've kinda been contemplating on life in general... i was thinking about how bangalore has cahnged me in the last year.. i mean it was inevitable that i take in some local culture that becomes an inherent part of me... but it appears i have become more namma bengaluru than i bargained for...

apart from the "maadi", meaning "to do", at the end of every sentence and the "machcha", the kannada equivalent of "saale", that annoys people so, there are other things about me that will allow me to walk into the auditions of any sun tv soap opera and be welcomed with arms wide open.. they will slap me on the back put sandalwood on my pate and offer me "kaaafi" like im one of the family... when frustrated, i find that i've now started saying "APPPAAAAA", meaning father, a lot... and its not just that i say it... i mean anybody can just say it... its my conviction... my dedication to the word.. the particularly explosive PPPPP that truly sets me apart from other north indians that are but hollow substitutes of the true kannada immigrant. i hear cheers around.. almost as much as when rajni saaar does three backflips with one and a half twist from a standing jump and lands with a lit cigarette, a dead bad guy and a thesis on the evolution of the unified field theory (though not always in that order)...

i thought i'd reached the pinnacle of my south indianization... what with the infinite idli breakfasts and dosa dinners... and the uncanny knack of understanding auto drivers (which is a talent im proud to say even most locals lack)... but just yesterday i realized that despite all my achievements, which are no doubt momentus, i havent truly mastered the art... for you see i've missed the one thing that makes bangaloreans, no matter what their background, unique... its this uncanny habit of saying "it seems" after any sentence.. which, as any tru blu namma bengaluru will tell you, is the only way to end a sentence... much humbled after this discovery... i have strived to drive myself, it seems... till i become perfect, itseems... i hope you'll lend adequate support, itseems...