When it rains it pours.

My house got broken into today. I walked in and surprised the thieves and they bolted, leaving my room behind looking like a war zone. Everything pulled off the shelves, drawers emptied out, cupboard door wrenched open.

I was on my way to the roof to fix a faulty cable dish, had my tool bag with me. Quite a fool I must have looked. Cussing and screaming at them, waving a hammer, as they jumped on to the neighbours’ roof and ran. I don’t recall being this angry in a very long time. It was bloodlust. The fear and anger, the sense of violation, capitulating to an overwhelming rage.

And it’s still burning. I don’t know what to do with it. The loss and pain of the last few weeks seem to have found an outlet in the form of this anger that I can’t quite handle. I half feel like going out there and picking a fight with somebody, just to feel my knuckles skinned against a jaw.

I think I just might go for a ride.

Eclipse

I set myself ablaze and shine
Illuminate the darkest part
of you; that guilty, smothered sign
of longing by a desperate heart.

You lock your doors and draw the blinds
And paper up the skylight too
and shut your eyes and drown in lies
But still my light keeps shining through.

It comes to pass, your doubts and fears
They overrun and blur your sight
The sudden wrath, the unshed tears
Make you lash out with all your might.

You douse me with your pent up bile
and then deride with jeers and quips
So now i burn in darkness vile
You've proven to be my eclipse

A physicist's apology

When I heard the learn’d astronomer;

When the proofs, the figures, were ranged in columns before me;

When I was shown the charts and the diagrams, to add, divide, and measure them;

When I, sitting, heard the astronomer, where he lectured with much applause in the lecture-room,

How soon, unaccountable, I became tired and sick;

Till rising and gliding out, I wander’d off by myself,

In the mystical moist night-air, and from time to time,

Look’d up in perfect silence at the stars.

Angela McCluskey - My Funny Valentine

Damn near broke my heart. Beautiful.

Happy 27th to me

All that was left unsaid.

I missed you today. An errant thought triggered by a stark reminder of the fragility of life. I thought about the last thing I said to you, I wished I'd said more. Told you just what you mean to me; the words come so easily to me now. They never did before.
You knew, I know you did. We both knew, in that unspoken, oft forgotten way that people who've always loved each other know. But I the heart still aches. It aches for all those little things that there will always be time for, till there isn't.
I missed you today. And shed a tear, or two. You were my shelter. My hero. And your memory will always make me smile, and well up. As all happy memories do.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Here we are, out of cigarettes,
Holding hands and yawning,
Look how late it gets.
Two sleepy people by dawn's early light,
And too much in love to say goodnight.

Here we are, in a cozy chair;
Pickin' on a wishbone from the frigidaire.
Two sleepy people with nothing to say,
And too much in love to break away.

Do you remember the nights we used to linger in the hall?
Your father didn't like me at all.
Do you remember the reason why we married in the fall?
To rent this little nest and get a bit of rest.

Well, here we are just about the same,
Foggy little fella, drowsy little dame.
Two sleepy people by dawn's early light,
And too much in love to say goodnight.