That old familiar sting..

Now that most of the furniture from my room's moved to my new place, i've been studying in my Grandmother's room.. Well.. My grandmother's old room.. Its been more than a year and i still half expect to look up and see her sitting in her chair, rummaging through a drawer full of assorted medicines.. Or reading a book, humming softly to herself.. Or watching a saas bahu soap on tv and getting so totally involved that she starts calling the vamp names..
The soft wrinkled skin on the back of her hands.. The peaceful smile that lingered on her face even as we carried her the final time..
I miss her.. I miss her kind eyes.. And her eternal mothering attitude.. And how she always had my back in little spats i had with the rest of the family..
I remember this one time in college when my father was after my case to get a haircut.. My floppy long hair had been a source of argument for days.. After a particularly loud yelling match with dad, i stormed into her room rather upset.. She barely asked me what was wrong before i was pouring out my strong sense of injustice at my dad's prejudice to my awesomely cool long hair.. i remember her smiling and without a word rummaging through her cupboard for a while to find an old fading picture of my dad's graduation day.. With him sporting the very fashionable long floppy 70's style haircut.. :) she told me with a little chuckle to show him the picture next time he says anything..
I miss you Amma.. I miss your stories and your laugh.. And your little sarcastic jokes about baywatch.. I miss your strength and your uncanny ability to make me believe in myself.. Thank you for always loving me more than i could even comprehend.. You will always be in my heart..

Hallelujah..

I did my best, It wasnt much
I couldnt feel so I tried to touch
I told the truth, didnt come all this way just to fool ya..
And even though it all went wrong
I'll stand before the lord of song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah..

All the best, i hope you find what you're looking for...