Hurt..

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel

I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real

the needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting

try to kill it all away but I remember everything

what have I become? my sweetest friend

everyone I know goes away in the end

and you could have it all, my empire of dirt

I will let you down I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns upon my liar's chair

full of broken thoughts I cannot repair

beneath the stains of time the feelings disappear

you are someone else I am still right here

what have I become? my sweetest friend

everyone I know goes away in the end

and you could have it all, my empire of dirt

I will let you down I will make you hurt

if I could start again a million miles away

I would keep myself, I would find a way

Pieces..

Shards, Shatters
Strips, Tatters
Rags, Fags
Withered hags

Bent, Broken
Silent, Spoken
Quite quiet
Storm, Riot

Pentup, Raging
Battle waging
Hazed pages
Phases, Stages

Sacred, Scarred
Woodwork's charred
Standing still
Run of the mill

Roadways, Alleys
Gorges, Valleys
Splatters, Stains
Cloudburst rains

Pieces, Passes
People, Masses
Faltering glances
Fading chances

The last goodbye..

If I knew it was the last time
I would've held you longer
If I knew it was the last time
I would've watched till you were out of sight
If I knew it was the last time
I would have said so much more than i did
If I knew it was the last time
I would have made time stand still
If I knew it was the last time
I would have held on to that last 'I love you'
If I knew it was the last time
I'd have never let you go

I walk the line...

I hadn't listened to Johnny Cash in a while.. Fixed my tape deck yesterday and have been listening to him ever since.. Here's a song thats always meant something to me.. and always will.. because sometimes you need someone to fix yourself for..

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line

As sure as night is dark and day is light
I keep you on my mind both day and night
And happiness I've known proves that it's right
Because you're mine, I walk the line

You've got a way to keep me on your side
You give me cause for love that I can't hide
For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide
Because you're mine, I walk the line

I keep a close watch on this heart of mine
I keep my eyes wide open all the time
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds
Because you're mine, I walk the line

Hare Krishna.. Hare Ram..

At a recent social event.. dotted with leaf and spin and poker and chili and really really lousy champagne.. one got into a very drunk discussion on religion and society and life and the futility of working towards change.. the following conclusions were reached.. though obvious.. one would still list them down..

• All change is relative.
• All change is inevitable.
• All change is necessary.
• Its easier to see the positives and the possibilities from a vihangam drishti, bird's eye view.
• Its easier to see the negatives and hurdles from a insider's perspective.
• The status quo is the point of greatest negative free energy, ergo point of least potential.
• The status quo is time based and variable.
• The status quo, if disturbed, does not revert back to erstwhile status quo, but finds path of least responsibility to a new and relatively close status quo.
• All views are inherently flawed.
• All perspectives are inherently distorted.
• All opinions are relative and driven by self.
• Hypocrisy is the most primal human trait.
• All change is desirable.
• All change is futile.

The River..

Me and mary we met in high school
when she was just seventeen
We'd ride out of that valley
down to where the fields were green

Now all them things that seemed so important
Well mister, they vanished right into the air
Now I just act like I dont remember,
and she acts like she dont care

At night on them banks
I'd lie awake
And pull her close
just to feel each breath she'd take.

Now those memories come back to haunt me,
they haunt me like a curse
Is a dream a lie if it dont come true
Or is it something worse?

Missing in action..

Im really clueless as to how many people actually bother to read this blog, inspite of my shameless self advertisement. This cluelessness is partly because nobody leaves any comments.. So i've devised an ingeneous ploy to seperate the wheat from the chaff and figure out who my true and loyal readers are..
All reading this please leave a comment.. any comment.. with your name.. and i shall reward thee in full with many more years of Rambling on.. as for those who dont.. a cruel and bitter fate awaits them.. What? you ask.. BOOOAAAAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAAA... just you wait..